from now on I’m going to convey sarcasm over the internet by typing like this
oh wow look how sarcastic that looks
that actually does look really sarcastic though. this is revolutionary
DEAR GOD SOMEONE HAS INVENTED THE SARCASM FONT THIS IS A TIME FOR CELEBRATION
Words of wisdom from Ron Swanson.
Found this little guy at college today
I wonder what he is majoring in.
"you’re too young to know what your sexuality is" said the straight person to a queer teenager
"he’s such a ladies’ man" said the straight person about a 6 month old baby that doesn’t know what a lady is
This is true art right here.
Humans are great
"A new study shows that men are threatened by confident women taking pictures of themselves, and call these women stupid, socially inept, and ugly. In other news, the world is round, the sky is blue, and the patriarchy is still shitty."
Dakarai Molokomme, a 15-year-old starving child from a small village in Zimbabwe, has just told Madonna, one of the most famous pop stars in the world, to go and f*** herself, the local media are reporting exclusively.
“Yes, it’s true, I told Madonna to go f*** herself. Do you want to know why?” Dakarai asked. “It’s the same thing every time with these snobby rich Americans. Every once in a while they come to show us their support for the so-called eradication of poverty by adopting a child from a starving family, but they actually do more harm than good. Transracial international adoptions are part of the white savior industrial complex,” Dakarai explained.
In further discussions with journalists from the media, the kid stated that “none of the children here actually want to be taken away from their family and friends so they can be displayed as some kind of trophy in the homes of self-righteous singers or actors who want to score some points with the media and Oprah.”
“If they really want to help us, they should get Big Pharma to ship us some anti-retroviral drugs for the AIDS epidemic, or build schools and hospitals. If they don’t want to do that, then they can all go f** themselves!” the child told reporters.
The 15-year-old also stated that he would say the same thing to any one of those American or European “faux humanitarian posers”, except for Bono, whom he said he would also kick in the groin.
“Bono’s efforts to save the African savage from itself prove that the colonial imperative is alive and well,” Dakarai said as he walked with other village children collecting sticks to build a tree fort.
THIS IS THE RAWEST 15 YEAR OLD ALIVE
A sentence I never thought I would read
i live for Max.
Best written character of all time. All. Time.
*gets stuck on a mission in a game* *doesn’t play for another 4234 years*
like what actually is Krycek’s job title? is he hired per job or on a salary? how does Krycek do his taxes, 1099 or W2??
Two job applications in 5 days (and one phone interview) is a big record for me
the amount of baby boomer types coming to the library, trying to get me to choose a job for them and write a job application for them, is amazing
To be honest, the main reason I like going to my friends’ houses is because I get to hang out with their pet dogs…
The woman who conducted the autopsy of Howard Graves in the X Files episode ‘Shadow’ has the greatest bitchface. It’s flawless.